Birthday Humor Greeting Card Set Pack of 5


Can't pick just one? Get a pack of 5. Here are the cards included in this pack:

Outside reads: I'm the captain of my own destiny
Inside reads: Even when that destiny is living in a rowboat parked in front of Denny's. Happy Birthday

Old Prospector
Outside reads: Back in my day this is how a 22 year old man looked
Inside reads: Happy Birthday

Carrie Bradshaw
Outside reads: I think I look like Carrie Bradshaw
Inside reads: But somehow it ends up looking like a schizophrenic. Happy Birthday

Outside reads: The other day one of my teeth fell out
Inside reads: That’s what you have to look forward to. Happy Birthday

Cat's Out of the Bag
Outside reads: The cat’s out of the bag on your birthday
Inside reads: Literally. I lost your cat. Sorry it had to be on your birthday.

You can choose any mix of 5 you would like, just specify which ones you want in the notes section upon purchase.

5 folded cards, measures 4.25 x 5.5 inches. Comes with matching envelopes. Printed with intense passion on recycled paper with 30% post-consumer waste.  No bigfoot carbon footprint to worry about!


What I want to say:
Hey, we know all about reckless decision making. We make those every night. So, you may cancel an order 3 years and 6 days after you place it, but no more or no less. The only tax we charge is the tax of knowing you are buying something that will bring hope to the dismal darkness of life.

What a lawyer I called from a commercial I saw on tv told me to say:
We take paypal and credit card. No cancellations.

Refund Policy
We do not accept returns or exchanges on non-defective items.

We only replace items if they are defective or damaged. If you need to exchange it for the same item, send us an email at We will send out a new product via standard US mail.

Shipping from United States

We will ship you items within 1-3 business days, depending if our stallion has been fed and is ready to ride!

If your item gets lost in the mail, we will ship out another item via standard ground shipping.


No returns unless goods arrive damaged.


We are not responsible for the carpal tunnel syndrome developed from clicking around on etsy.

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